When Does the Pursuit of Pregnancy Go Too Far?


Now 10 years outside of my pursuit of pregnancy and all the related dreams I once held dear, I find myself preoccupied by the complex questions and issues that continue to swirl around the ‘fertility’ industry and those swept up in it. I sat down last month to research and write a longer piece excerpted here:

Once a young bride-to-be swept up in the gauzy haze of romance, I remember someone once asking me about my priorities. Was I focused on the wedding or the marriage? I began to ask myself that question in a different form as I moved further down the reproductive medicine path: Do I want to put my long-term health — mental, physical and financial — at risk on unregulated or unproven procedures or live my life?

As much as my heart ached in the turmoil of our unexplained infertility and losses, I knew I could not saddle a child with the responsibility to make it better. Nagging worries about any resulting child’s health and identity issues was one of many reasons we stopped treatment…

You can read the full piece here on Medium. Thanks to Klara and those who have also shared the piece online and via Facebook and Twitter. (Much appreciated Lisa, Jody, Justine, Jonathan, Christopher, Alizah and Catherine-Emmanuelle and the many others who have Tweeted).


You might also find this interview by Cristy and Mo a good companion piece. They acknowledge and set aside their own fears and ask Loribeth and I to discuss what it meant to let go of our dream of successful pregnancy and move toward a different life than the one we once envisioned. (Note: I’m getting a transcript of the nearly hour-long podcast made and will share — in print — some of the discussion as a part II to this blog post later in the week. Stay tuned.)

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