Finding Joy Beyond Childlessness

Finding Joy Beyond Childlessness

Childlessness and joy are rarely used in the same sentence. Lesley Pyne, however,  has devoted the past few years digging into the reality of childlessness. Her quest? To understand how to process the losses, carve out a new path and rediscover joy. It’s all in her new book, Finding Joy Beyond Childlessness: Inspiring Stories to Guide You to a Fulfilling Life, available now for pre-order on Amazon.com. As Jody Day, who writes the book forward, reminds us “the room called childlessness has many doors.”  This is further underscored in Finding…

How Is This Not a Thing?

How Is This Not a Thing?

You know how you hear or read something, and your first thought is, “Huh? How is this not a thing?” In my case this response usually has to do with infertility-related topics. Thing One: Endometriosis How is a proper and timely diagnosis for endometriosis still not a thing? The superb Samantha Bee recently highlighted this on her show Full Frontal.  In a segment on women’s health called The History of Women’s Pain, Bee also explains not only is there no cure for endometriosis, it takes an average of six to…

Mark Your Calendar: Avalanche Blog Book Tour

Mark Your Calendar: Avalanche Blog Book Tour

Mark your calendar for a collaborative discussion in our corner of the blogosphere. As mentioned over a few previous posts, we’ll be reading and discussing Avalanche, a new memoir. In the words of novelist, filmmaker and Avalanche author Julia Leigh: “This book felt incredibly necessary to me. This is always the test. The writer asks herself: is this truly a story worth telling?” she says. “And in this case, it was a yes, definitely this is a book I really want to write mainly because I feel there is so…

The Change: For Reals

The Change: For Reals

While my recent blog posts have been outward facing — examining the increasingly surreal fertility-obsessed world and the entrepreneurial fertility industry eager to cash in around it  — this post, girlfriends, is kicking it old school. Grab a cup of coffee or your favorite libation ’cause we’re going inside the girl tent. The numbers don’t lie.  Menopause confirmed: FSH: 151! It might be the competitive person I am, but my first instinct upon getting the blood test results was to brag.  Yeah, that’s right. 151. Top that. Those who have…

Tribe: Fitting In and How We See Ourselves

Tribe: Fitting In and How We See Ourselves

Our sense of who we are and how we fit in — or don’t — alters over time. The gawky growth phase — whether as an adolescent or as an adult going through complicated transitions are the most memorable — usually due to the mess involved. In the midst of it we feel awkward, restless and just plain out of sorts. Choose your metaphor. A eucalyptus tree shedding its bark.  An ugly caterpillar. A rumbling dark storm cloud. The growth and change that accompanies these periods is sometimes fast and…

Fertility Industry Brings Brave New World Closer: Are We Truly Ready?

Fertility Industry Brings Brave New World Closer: Are We Truly Ready?

There were many troubling headlines about the fertility industry this past week: Women “Exploited” by Egg-Freeze Clinics Don’t bank on IVF, warns new fertility watchdog chief Data Murky on Fertility Rates Should a Woman be Allowed to Hire a Surrogate Because She Fears Pregnancy Will Hurt Her Career? The subtext: when it comes to ‘fertility’ medicine, buyer beware The commercialization of creating new life has entered a new phase. There are certainly large markets for enterprising fertility industry service providers. The markets are made up of hopeful women and men…

Looking Out for Our Sisters In a World of False Fertility Claims

Looking Out for Our Sisters In a World of False Fertility Claims

While my gray roots benefited from a rich brunette color drenching in a new hair salon recently a younger stylist handed me a glass of champagne. She was not my usual go-to hair expert so there was the usual get-to-know-you chitchat. (Yes, I decided to splurge a bit this time around since it was the eve of my 14th anniversary to Mr. T.) It wasn’t long before that question turned up. I wasn’t in the frame of mind to go into details, so I responded simply: “unfortunately, my husband and…

Generation I.V.F. Shares Lessons Learned

Generation I.V.F. Shares Lessons Learned

We don’t get to choose when we’re born or the era in which we live, but we can decide what  lessons we leave behind for others. Author and fellow former fertility treatment patient Miriam Zoll lays out some truths associated with what it means to be a part of Generation I.V.F. in a piece  posted to Lilith Magazine. Those of us who were mere teenagers in 1978 when the first IVF baby was introduced to the world  listened wide-eyed at what science could achieve. Just 15 years old at the…

When Life is Interrupted By Failed Fertility

When Life is Interrupted By Failed Fertility

Missing from many of life’s conversations where infertility is concerned is the male perspective, which is why I was both pleased and surprised to see that the first questions asked during the Q&A portion of The Cycle: Living A Taboo Forum came from men. While I don’t remember the exact dialogue that unfolded, I do recall the powerful emotions conveyed as one man took the microphone and shared that he and his wife were approaching the end of their fertility treatments. Swallowing hard he recounted the toll treatments had taken…

How About a Time Cover Story on Women Who Aren’t Moms or Childfree?

How About a Time Cover Story on Women Who Aren’t Moms or Childfree?

In the past year Time magazine has run two cover stories (Are You Mom Enough? and The ChildFree Life: When Having it All Means Not Having Children) and managed to miss — both times — a notable segment of the female population: women who don’t identify either as “moms” or “childfree.” If you dropped in from outer space you would conclude, based on Time‘s view of the world anyway, that: 1)  People without children spend most of their time idly lounging around (um, how does not having children make one…