Don’t Ignore…There’s More Than One Infertility Ending

Don’t Ignore…There’s More Than One Infertility Ending

Now that the shock, stigma and the ensuing hairball of emotions that infertility exploded on me has dissipated, I’m happy to report that with each year (nearly nine) post-treatment, life has become better than good. And, furthermore, my reproductive organs are thrilled, positively delighted, to be out of the limelight. It’s also a relief not to be wracked with shame, guilt or feelings of failure. It didn’t come easy, casting aside the infertility baggage, but these days I much prefer to focus on the non-reproductive aspects of my life and the freedom that comes with reinvention….

Post-Traumatic Growth

Post-Traumatic Growth

  A recent conversation with Lisa Manterfield, a fellow blogger, validated the delicate balancing act required when writing about a topic that is deeply personal — one that has wide-ranging impact and carries the power to reshape our sense of identity and the way in which we grow and move forward in our lives. Lisa described watching a frog swim valiantly and hard across a pond before resting and regrouping, and how it gave it her pause to reflect on her own journey. Further complicating matters, we don’t uniformly move in the same direction at the same time. Each of us…

Betty Ford Taught Me To Confront Stigma Head On

Betty Ford Taught Me To Confront Stigma Head On

“It was like going to a party you’re terrified of, and finding out to your amazement that you’re having a good time.” That’s how Betty Ford, who passed away today at 93, described her life in the White House during one of the most turbulent times in U.S. history. I was 10 years old when she became First Lady. I didn’t appreciate until I was older how much she influenced my life. She didn’t shy away from her struggles; she talked openly about them. I read some of the coverage…

I Was The Elder Price of Infertility Treatment

I Was The Elder Price of Infertility Treatment

I clearly recall 10 years ago feeling wary and apprehensive about what my life would be like a decade later if I didn’t succeed in conceiving. When the nagging worries of an unknown (and surely unfulfilled) life took hold during a frantic last engagement with a team of reproductive endocrinologists at Stanford University Medical Center I pushed them out of my head. Not gonna go there. I was the Elder Price of infertility treatment. (Elder Price being the protagonist in The Book of Mormon who had an intractable view of…

Who Shapes History? We Do

Who Shapes History? We Do

    Is it already the second Sunday in May? It may be that I’ve simply been too busy to notice, or that I’ve reached a new state of zen. Either way, I thought it was important to take a moment from my packing to highlight a story that my better half had waiting next to my cup of coffee this morning. The San Jose Mercury News print edition contained a story titled,”Taking Mother’s Day Back.” In it, the reporter shares the genesis of this day — an antiwar protest…

And The Reader Survey Says: Hello! We’re Here…

And The Reader Survey Says: Hello! We’re Here…

As if to make my point, within days of posting a survey asking whether it might be time for a new general interest-like website not laced with constant references to parenting, The New York Times Magazine offered up a story about, yes, the Queen of the Mommy Bloggers. (Hasn’t the 15 minutes of fame for Mommy Bloggers come and gone, yet?) Meanwhile, over in celebrity land, People magazine covers since the beginning of the year have either included a picture of parents, parents and a baby or used the word…

Reader Mail Around the Globe: Discovery, Validation, Comfort

Reader Mail Around the Globe: Discovery, Validation, Comfort

I’m a bit jet lagged after flying across the United States. The travel part was easy. Now the challenge lies in what to say in my acceptance speech at the RESOLVE Night of Hope event on Tuesday evening. I’m allowed one minute and thirty seconds. That’s not much time to thank the international community of women who feel as close to me as sisters. You can be sure I’ll be thinking about each and everyone one of you as I nervously make my way to the podium. Meanwhile, I want…

An Artist Shares Decades of Wisdom

An Artist Shares Decades of Wisdom

Editor’s Note: In the early weeks and months after stopping infertility treatments I craved access to happy and fulfilled women who had managed to survive the infertility experience.  I needed to hear from someone who could tell me that everything would be okay, someone with the wisdom and experience to know what I had lived with and through. Women like Rosie, who wrote the following guest post from an island in New Zealand. Kindred spirits like Rosie (and many others I’ve come to know) didn’t materialize right away so I…

Guest Post: Never Being Called Mommy

Guest Post: Never Being Called Mommy

The latest contributor to A Fresh Start is Stephanie. I first came across her writing on More.com. A few emails later she invited me to join her on a radio segment where we both discussed our respective experiences coming to terms with infertility. In this piece, Stephanie shares her story and sheds some light on “disenfranchised grief” and where she found new strength.  You can read still more stories from strong women in this blog’s Tapestry of Voices category. * * * * “You’re both identical twins?! Wow! How many…

Spring Break, Spring Cleaning and Springing Forward

Spring Break, Spring Cleaning and Springing Forward

Spring is almost here! What does that mean for you? Me? I’m counting the days until we leave for Ireland where the hills are always gloriously green. (Yes, there will be rain so I’ve picked up a new water-repellent, hooded jacket to keep me from getting soaked to the skin). Most of all I’m looking forward to some spring break time with my 10-year-old niece and 13-year-old nephew. They’re simply delightful and share many of my husband’s family characteristics. Among the fun is listening to their rich vocabulary. The Irish…