‘Non-moms’ Often Forced to Contemplate and Carve out Their Own Unique Space and Meaning

‘Non-moms’ Often Forced to Contemplate and Carve out Their Own Unique Space and Meaning

    Non-moms recognized? Read on … That opening paragraph grabbed me. Did it grab, you, too? Truly, I didn’t expect this acknowledgement to make it into print, but it did. I stumbled upon this reference to ‘non-moms’ in a story because Silent Sorority garnered a mention in a feature about Dolly Parton.  (And that alone is mind-boggling!) It’s a great beginning to 2018, wouldn’t you say, when the world opens to consider a very real and not always easy path in life?  Yes, it is safe to say that…

Where Did Eight Years Go, Silent Sorority?

Where Did Eight Years Go, Silent Sorority?

When the Silent Sorority galley arrived in 2009 my pulse quickened. I thumbed through the pages and out jumped the grittiest parts of my life.  I sat down at the keyboard to write my first and only birth announcement. Five years of blinking cursors and early morning draft rewrites culminated in Silent Sorority: A (Barren) Woman Gets Busy, Angry, Lost and Found — the first memoir on infertility not authored by a mother. All the infertility memoirs and profiles I’d ever come across had one thing in common: the stories ended…

Here’s Why You Don’t Have To Be A Mother To Be A Loving Woman

Here’s Why You Don’t Have To Be A Mother To Be A Loving Woman

Five years ago we made history. On September 28, 2010 Silent Sorority earned an award in the media capital of North America — New York City. There I was amid an unusual mix of a few celebrities, fertility industry sales people, clinicians, health advocates and RESOLVE representatives. In my acceptance speech I managed to hush a room of 300+ people by declaring that there is more than one ending to the infertility story. I recall my words took people by surprise. The audience — and most of society — were…

Casting off Chains of Infertility: Fertility Diary, The Life of Pi and Search for Peace

Casting off Chains of Infertility: Fertility Diary, The Life of Pi and Search for Peace

Each of us who confronts infertility has no idea where it will take us. We launch into turbulent seas unaware of when or if we will encounter calm water or be delivered into a safe harbor. Certain contributing reproductive conditions are more easily treated than others and some individuals have more disposal income than others to gamble on advanced and risky procedures. Read any infertility blog and you’ll get a window into how prolonged disappointment and loss combine to color decision-making, fray relationships, challenge principles and, at its worst, weaken…

We Are More Than What Sets Us Apart

We Are More Than What Sets Us Apart

Editor’s Note: The following guest post comes from Megan, a novice to the blog world. She teases at the complexity of an infertility conundrum: How do we educate people about the infertility experience and how it reshapes us without making childlessness the only thing they see about us? I am normally a “silent” silent sorority member, and am thankful for this community. Something happened on New Year’s Eve that made an impact and left me to reflect.  My girlfriend gave me her son’s copy of LPA Today Magazine Spring/Summer 2012.  LPA…

Ending Fertility Treatment Equated with Madness?

Ending Fertility Treatment Equated with Madness?

Halloween may be over, but the chance to really scare the living daylights out of someone remains real 365 days a year. How you ask? Declare that you’re stepping away from the path to motherhood — and to really induce shrieks wave around a copy of Silent Sorority. That will seal the deal. Horrors! Of course, the scariness quotient depends on your vantage point. This morning over coffee I read a comment in response to last week’s open salon between a mom-to-be using donor eggs (Keiko) and moi, a woman…

Narrative Bias and Why Context Matters

Narrative Bias and Why Context Matters

It’s hard not to be caught up in the excitement of the Olympics. Beyond the awe-inspiring athleticism, stories abound. They resonate in large part because we understand the context. The narratives fulfill a hunger of sorts — whether for inspiration, a sense of accomplishment or a common bond that goes beyond country or sport. Not all succeed though. Some narratives simply annoy. Salon‘s Mary Elizabeth Williams piece, “So she’s a mom. So what?,” underscores the weird and prevalent mom worship in today’s society noting: “Moms have been a running theme…

The New Normal

The New Normal

Fifteen years ago this weekend I packed up all my belongings, waved goodbye to Michigan and the life I knew, and headed west to San Jose, California. I was truly a stranger in a strange new land. I knew two people in the Bay area: my brother who lived an hour north in the East Bay, and a long-distance friend who also lived an hour from my new home. I didn’t know the lingo — Silicon Valley buzzwords and acronyms filled a notebook I kept to try to make sense…

Silent Sorority: Two Years Later

Silent Sorority: Two Years Later

Wondering where I’ve been? Busy at the keyboard, among other things. I’ve been blogging and participating in The Ladies in Waiting Book Club, which chose Silent Sorority as its featured book.  It was disconcerting, surreal … actually a bit liberating to read and discuss the contents of the book, mainly because the experience is now so firmly in the rear-view mirror. On the horizon is the two-year anniversary of the book launch (April 18, 2009), and what a two years of growth it has been. I’ve also been immersing myself…

And The Reader Survey Says: Hello! We’re Here…

And The Reader Survey Says: Hello! We’re Here…

As if to make my point, within days of posting a survey asking whether it might be time for a new general interest-like website not laced with constant references to parenting, The New York Times Magazine offered up a story about, yes, the Queen of the Mommy Bloggers. (Hasn’t the 15 minutes of fame for Mommy Bloggers come and gone, yet?) Meanwhile, over in celebrity land, People magazine covers since the beginning of the year have either included a picture of parents, parents and a baby or used the word…