Silent Sorority Gratitude and a Look Ahead to a New Generation

Silent Sorority Gratitude and a Look Ahead to a New Generation

Thanksgiving gets all the attention and big league association with gratitude, but it’s the quiet, daily acknowledgement of thanks that actually serves us best. That’s one reason I want you to know that not a day goes that I don’t give thanks for the friendship, insights and kindness of all those who have taken the time — over the past nearly eight years — to drop by and share here (and, previously at Coming2Terms). In today’s noisy, fast-paced world of social media with ‘drop in and out’ online communities, 24/7…

Gather Round Women: So You Need Some Help With Your ‘Mommy Problem’

Gather Round Women: So You Need Some Help With Your ‘Mommy Problem’

With an impish look on his face my husband innocently asked if I’d read The New York Times opinion section recently. Minutes later — with the requisite cartoon steam coming out of my ears — I was harrumphing my way through Our ‘Mommy Problem.’  I could also be heard grumbling and exclaiming loudly: Finally figured out what I’ve been writing about since 2007 did you…? Besides both having nearly unpronounceable last names, the op-ed author, Heather Havrilesky, and I do not share a lot in common with our current ways of…

“The No-Baby Boom” Nails Cultural Shift and Gloria Steinem Rocks On at 80

“The No-Baby Boom” Nails Cultural Shift and Gloria Steinem Rocks On at 80

It was easy to walk a little taller on Sunday. Why? I had just consumed, back to back, articles on women fearlessly tackling stereotypes and unabashedly breaking molds. It was as though a light was switched on as I read, illuminating just how dramatically society has shifted in the past 50 years — in particular in the way that women have come to identify and define themselves. First up, Gail Collins’ piece in The New York Times on Gloria Steinem, This Is What 80 Looks Like. Collins notes that “Steinem…

What’s This? Common Ground That Doesn’t Involve Motherhood Or Infertility

What’s This? Common Ground That Doesn’t Involve Motherhood Or Infertility

I’ve been spending less and less time in the infertility blogosphere — and for all the right reasons. With my mind no longer preoccupied or dogged by tortured emotions associated with not being in the mommy club, the messiness of healing from infertility, or the rehab-like experience of reinvention and learning to live again, I am busy engaged in a full life. It’s not that I’m not interested in what everyone has been writing (because there are certainly lots of provocative posts and followup thoughts, including this set of comments),…

Generation I.V.F. Shares Lessons Learned

Generation I.V.F. Shares Lessons Learned

We don’t get to choose when we’re born or the era in which we live, but we can decide what  lessons we leave behind for others. Author and fellow former fertility treatment patient Miriam Zoll lays out some truths associated with what it means to be a part of Generation I.V.F. in a piece  posted to Lilith Magazine. Those of us who were mere teenagers in 1978 when the first IVF baby was introduced to the world  listened wide-eyed at what science could achieve. Just 15 years old at the…

How About a Time Cover Story on Women Who Aren’t Moms or Childfree?

How About a Time Cover Story on Women Who Aren’t Moms or Childfree?

In the past year Time magazine has run two cover stories (Are You Mom Enough? and The ChildFree Life: When Having it All Means Not Having Children) and managed to miss — both times — a notable segment of the female population: women who don’t identify either as “moms” or “childfree.” If you dropped in from outer space you would conclude, based on Time‘s view of the world anyway, that: 1)  People without children spend most of their time idly lounging around (um, how does not having children make one…

Outside The Bubble

Outside The Bubble

The world looks vastly different outside the bubble. Gone were the subliminal and overt messages about what a socially acceptable life is supposed to look like. Truthfully, once you you leave it behind, it can be a bit shocking to realize just how pervasive our social conditioning is. I was able to escape the noisy echo chamber that surrounds us during the longest getaway since graduating from university — 21 days visiting seven countries. With just minutes available online each day (mostly to scan email for anything urgent) I was…

Keeping It Real

Keeping It Real

Oh to have the charm and confidence that Jennifer Lawrence exhibited this past week as she tripped and then recovered on her way to accepting the Oscar for Best Actress. I marveled at the grittiness she showed in Winter’s Bone. I admired her stoicism and determination as Katniss in The Hunger Games, and I became a bona fide fan watching her light up the screen in Silver Lining’s Playbook. Her best performance, hands down, though was the press conference after securing her Oscar.  Jennifer kept it real and reminded me…

Not All Mothers Are Sanctimommies, Hooray!

Not All Mothers Are Sanctimommies, Hooray!

As part of my blogoversary week of lessons learned… #2 The Blogosphere Can Foster Strange Bedfellows One of the toughest aspects of being part of a group routinely held up for scrutiny (e.g. women without children) is facing detractors who feel perfectly at ease casting aspersions or passing value judgements on our lives. I don’t know about you, but I don’t particularly relish being put on the defensive. That’s why it was with some relief — and a smidge of amusement — that I found myself witness to, rather than…

If You Think You’ve Changed, Just Wait

If You Think You’ve Changed, Just Wait

“At every age we think we’re having the last laugh, and at every age we’re wrong.” -Daniel T. Gilbert, Harvard Psychologist How good are you at predicting who you will become? If you’re like most people you’ll underestimate how much change awaits you. This conclusion was born out in a research paper published in Science and covered in a recent New York Times piece, titled, “Why You Won’t Be the Person You Expect to Be.” Researchers measured the personalities, values, and preferences of more than 19,000 people who ranged in…