My Online Introduction to Louise Joy Brown

My Online Introduction to Louise Joy Brown

As I wrote in this new essay published on Medium, it was perhaps only a matter of time before the lives of Louise Joy Brown, now 37-years old and residing in Bristol, England, and mine finally intersected.Jessica Hepburn, noted UK author and blogger, was the one who brought us together in a blog post titled Test Tube Tales. Soon thereafter, Louise Joy Brown favorited this Tweet. .@JessicaPursuit @LouiseJoyBrown Awestruck by the reach of #infertility. Thank you Jessica for tying our #ivf stories together #FinallyHeard — Pamela M Tsigdinos (@PamelaJeanne) August…

New Philosophy: Everything To Gain

New Philosophy: Everything To Gain

How is it that the mind is so much more agile and able to turn over ideas and philosophies with such ease … in the pre-dawn? With rain falling softly against the window at 5am, and my iPad lighting up the room, I swiped my screen to find a Sunday Review piece called Abundance Without Attachment. With an engaging narrative, writer Arthur C. Brook challenged readers to consider the ‘Christmas Conundrum.’ That is the competing notions of generosity and goodwill this holiday season juxtaposed with the crass commercialism and related…

Go To The Head of the Class

Go To The Head of the Class

When was the last time you got some recognition for all your hard work? Your late night introspections? Your fertility-challenged epiphanies? All that and much more have contributed to your bona fide goddess growth in the wake of infertility. Gold stars for all my dear Internets, my nomos, my non-moms, my infertile readers working hard to recover and reinvent, my CNBCs (those childless not by choice) — you have totally earned it. What is the cause for celebration, you ask? Why are you being feted? You have graduated and you most likely didn’t even…

Free To Be You and Me

Free To Be You and Me

I’m not sure what possessed me to write it. Was it my cumulative annoyance at People magazine for devoting so much editorial real estate (for instance every week!) to celebrating all aspects of parenthood (hey – how about some equal time, People editors)? Was it the veiled tone of pity, the whiff of judgment, or the implication that there is only one happy ending to the infertility story? But write I did, and I’m glad for what came next… Dispatch from “hell:” It’s not all bad became an Open Salon Editor’s…

Betty Ford Taught Me To Confront Stigma Head On

Betty Ford Taught Me To Confront Stigma Head On

“It was like going to a party you’re terrified of, and finding out to your amazement that you’re having a good time.” That’s how Betty Ford, who passed away today at 93, described her life in the White House during one of the most turbulent times in U.S. history. I was 10 years old when she became First Lady. I didn’t appreciate until I was older how much she influenced my life. She didn’t shy away from her struggles; she talked openly about them. I read some of the coverage…

Joseph Campbell Meets Anne of Green Gables

Joseph Campbell Meets Anne of Green Gables

Some weeks are routine and barely rate a mention. The people look the same. Conversations cover the usual territory. No insights … And then this week. It’s been positively trippy with insights and validations of our ‘truth.’ I’ve had a steady stream of conversations and emails — from Finland to Rhode Island to Southern California — prompting one revelation after another. I also had the pleasure of another face-to-face meeting with one of our sorority last night — all of which led me on a kaleidoscopic memory trip of my…

When Barren is Fruitful

When Barren is Fruitful

Today’s fertile women have yesterday’s infertile women to thank for the development of the mighty Pill.* That’s right. Our barren peeps have apparently had quite the societal impact. I learned about the Pill’s paradoxical beginning in a recent Time cover story. In researching the Pill’s consequences, writer Nancy Gibbs notes that in 1952 the country’s pre-eminent infertility specialist was a Harvard-trained physician named John Rock. About him she writes: “…A devout Catholic with five children and 19 grandchildren, Rock had made it his mission to help barren women have babies….

Spring Break, Spring Cleaning and Springing Forward

Spring Break, Spring Cleaning and Springing Forward

Spring is almost here! What does that mean for you? Me? I’m counting the days until we leave for Ireland where the hills are always gloriously green. (Yes, there will be rain so I’ve picked up a new water-repellent, hooded jacket to keep me from getting soaked to the skin). Most of all I’m looking forward to some spring break time with my 10-year-old niece and 13-year-old nephew. They’re simply delightful and share many of my husband’s family characteristics. Among the fun is listening to their rich vocabulary. The Irish…

We Have to Believe It to See It

We Have to Believe It to See It

Editor’s Note: In the days following The New York Times profile about my experience “Facing a Life Without Children When it Isn’t by Choice,” I heard from women and men from around the world. Among those who reached out to me was Dr. Wendy Rogers who, it turned out, lived just a few miles away. We arranged to meet for lunch — the first of many. She’s since become a mentor, a big sister who has helped me to understand and appreciate how to turn a struggle into a source of…