We Don’t Heal From Suffering We’re Changed By It

We Don’t Heal From Suffering We’re Changed By It

We usually want to believe we’ll be grace under pressure, stoic and even sunny in the face of adversity. The truth is we never really know how we’ll respond to unexpected, searing pain and loss — being truly in despair — until we find ourselves facing it head on.  Even then we don’t have any confidence that we’ll muster the strength to get beyond it — to push forward. Some do and some don’t. I am reminded how much suffering has the power to change us when I review my…

What’s This? Common Ground That Doesn’t Involve Motherhood Or Infertility

What’s This? Common Ground That Doesn’t Involve Motherhood Or Infertility

I’ve been spending less and less time in the infertility blogosphere — and for all the right reasons. With my mind no longer preoccupied or dogged by tortured emotions associated with not being in the mommy club, the messiness of healing from infertility, or the rehab-like experience of reinvention and learning to live again, I am busy engaged in a full life. It’s not that I’m not interested in what everyone has been writing (because there are certainly lots of provocative posts and followup thoughts, including this set of comments),…

Generation I.V.F. Shares Lessons Learned

Generation I.V.F. Shares Lessons Learned

We don’t get to choose when we’re born or the era in which we live, but we can decide what  lessons we leave behind for others. Author and fellow former fertility treatment patient Miriam Zoll lays out some truths associated with what it means to be a part of Generation I.V.F. in a piece  posted to Lilith Magazine. Those of us who were mere teenagers in 1978 when the first IVF baby was introduced to the world  listened wide-eyed at what science could achieve. Just 15 years old at the…

When Life is Interrupted By Failed Fertility

When Life is Interrupted By Failed Fertility

Missing from many of life’s conversations where infertility is concerned is the male perspective, which is why I was both pleased and surprised to see that the first questions asked during the Q&A portion of The Cycle: Living A Taboo Forum came from men. While I don’t remember the exact dialogue that unfolded, I do recall the powerful emotions conveyed as one man took the microphone and shared that he and his wife were approaching the end of their fertility treatments. Swallowing hard he recounted the toll treatments had taken…

One Small Step For Infertility Awareness, One Giant Leap For Society

One Small Step For Infertility Awareness, One Giant Leap For Society

My expectations for September 27 and The Cycle: Living A Taboo were very high — not only for those of us presenting at the forum, but for those who would join us. What transpired surpassed my expectations. As the evening drew near, we speakers assembled in Tribeca from Los Angeles, Silicon Valley, Spanish Harlem, Boston, and Manhattan. After we checked the mics, the camera crew took their positions, and the tall theater doors opened. In came those bringing genuine interest and (later) palpable support. The seats began to fill with…

Teach and Learn: Lift the Veil on a Taboo

Teach and Learn: Lift the Veil on a Taboo

UPDATE: Hat tip to Amy McVay Abbott, the journalist behind Infertility: The Billion Dollar Business & the Heartbreaking Realities and Jody Day for thought-provoking perspectives on our upcoming event The Cycle: Living A Taboo, and the importance of participating in the conversation. Jody wrote: “I get that it’s daunting to attend something where you’ll be filmed. But before you decide you can’t be part of this, not yet… ask yourself this: What have you done wrong? What do you have to be ashamed of? Nothing, that’s what. Nothing.” ~~~ Years…

Do You Live A Taboo? I Do, Too!

Do You Live A Taboo? I Do, Too!

UPDATE 8/27/2013: For those of you around the world who are unable to join us in person in New York City, we’ve opened up a page on our event website to share your thoughts. Please comment below and we’ll include you as virtual participants. …when a path wasn’t clear, the natural instinct was to go with the herd. Only trouble was finding the right one. I was slowly separating from the ‘Trying to Conceive Tribe’ and from the looks of it I wasn’t ever going to be part of the…

The Wisdom of Experience and Value of Seeing the Whole Picture

The Wisdom of Experience and Value of Seeing the Whole Picture

Update: You can read the “The Grief of Infertility” #losschat transcript from the Twitter Chat earlier this week. The discussion is contained on Storify. Great sharing — we even had a man’s perspective. I’m not sure when I first started watching but every seven years I tune in for a viewing of a documentary series — the latest being 56 Up. It began in 1964 with a show looking at the lives of adorable seven-year-old British children. It’s unique in that every seven years since most all have appeared again…

Time Warp Tuesday: Advice

Time Warp Tuesday: Advice

When was the last time you took your own advice? And I mean put your very own recommendation into action. It’s usually much easier to hand out advice than it is to act on or internalize your own, isn’t it? Advice is the theme for this month’s Time Warp Tuesday blog hop/writing exercise. This monthly activity involves revisiting blog entries from the archives and reflecting on our journeys since we once sat down to write (or read) them. Thanks for the prompt Kathy and for sharing Lori’s father’s advice to “Draw a wider circle….

Time Warp Tuesday: Decisions

Time Warp Tuesday: Decisions

Most weeks come and go without much fanfare. They’re filled with work, exercise, meals, appointments, chores, gardening, a weekend hike, coffee with a friend, a movie, or cleaning out that one drawer that always seems to hold everything because you once wanted to get something off the counter. And then there are weeks like this. The week that you turn 50. The week that marks the five-year anniversary of your infertility disclosure in The New York Times. The week film-makers show up in your living room to tape a segment for a documentary…