Male Call: The Head Cannot Heal the Heart

Male Call: The Head Cannot Heal the Heart

Editor’s Note: When it comes to matters of the heart, there’s nothing quite so comforting and validating as discovering you’re not alone in teasing out complicated emotions. Whether in the blogosphere or in society as a whole male voices are in the minority on the topic of disenfranchised grief. It’s rare to hear men give voice to their feelings on involuntary childlessness or the finality of infertility. That’s just one of the reasons why this guest post from Brian Hawker — a self-described teacher, sometimes writer and bad trumpet player…

We Are More Than What Sets Us Apart

We Are More Than What Sets Us Apart

Editor’s Note: The following guest post comes from Megan, a novice to the blog world. She teases at the complexity of an infertility conundrum: How do we educate people about the infertility experience and how it reshapes us without making childlessness the only thing they see about us? I am normally a “silent” silent sorority member, and am thankful for this community. Something happened on New Year’s Eve that made an impact and left me to reflect.  My girlfriend gave me her son’s copy of LPA Today Magazine Spring/Summer 2012.  LPA…

Australian & American Leaders: Whose Got the Tougher Perception to Overcome?

Australian & American Leaders: Whose Got the Tougher Perception to Overcome?

Editor’s Note: I’m pleased to share with you a guest post from Gillian Guthrie, author of Childless: Reflections on Life’s Longing for Itself. You might recall I included a link to an interview with Gillian in a previous post. (Thanks again, Carmel, for pointing us to the story.) Curiosity led me to seek Gillian out. A few emails later the world got a little smaller once again… ~~~ Greetings from Australia, Pamela, and thanks for inviting me to contribute to your blog. I thought you might be interested in a story…

The Next 15,000 Days

The Next 15,000 Days

  It isn’t often that you meet someone and instantly feel a bond. Our next guest blog contributor and I found each other across many miles. We have corresponded as pen pals for several years, but only met face to face a few months ago in a heavenly place called Bled, Slovenia. It was like meeting an old friend for the first time. Our shared six-foot height aside, she and I have seen eye to eye and heart to heart from the beginning. Fortunately, for those of us who don’t speak…

The Secret to Happiness is…

The Secret to Happiness is…

…not having what you want, but wanting what you have. That’s just one of the many lessons our latest guest contributor has gleaned over the course of 49 years. Linda (aka Mali), a New Zealand-based blogger — a self-described kiwi — writes on a variety of topics. Here, in her words, is how she arrived at her fresh start. April 26, 2012 Update: Huffington Post chose this post as one of a series of columns to highlight during National Infertility Awareness Week. (Congrats, Linda!) You can find it here. ~~~ I didn’t always want children. I know that’s…

Someday We’ll Look Back, Laugh Nervously and Change the Subject

Someday We’ll Look Back, Laugh Nervously and Change the Subject

…But, there’s some part of me that doesn’t want to change the subject. What I’d like instead is to get beyond the nervous, uncomfortable awkwardness, the sense of being accountable somehow for why I don’t have children.  As I said in an interview with a reporter from YahooShine/PopSugar, there are many shades of gray when it comes to a person’s family status.  Just for kicks, imagine with me what it would be like if parents regularly faced the question “why do you have children?” Wouldn’t it be a hoot to see how that conversation would go…

Rising From The Ashes

Rising From The Ashes

There are no cultural barriers, borders or misunderstanding among women who have confronted infertility. We know and understand each other in a way that defies words. NYCPhoenix and I first connected on my Coming2Terms blog. When The New York Times piece,”Living Without Children When It Isn’t by Choice” came out, I remember her comment among the many others  Seems we both knew from hard experience how essential a thick skin is to make our way in a society that doesn’t always know what to make of us. I also recall…

An Artist Shares Decades of Wisdom

An Artist Shares Decades of Wisdom

Editor’s Note: In the early weeks and months after stopping infertility treatments I craved access to happy and fulfilled women who had managed to survive the infertility experience.  I needed to hear from someone who could tell me that everything would be okay, someone with the wisdom and experience to know what I had lived with and through. Women like Rosie, who wrote the following guest post from an island in New Zealand. Kindred spirits like Rosie (and many others I’ve come to know) didn’t materialize right away so I…

New York Times MotherLode Guest Post

New York Times MotherLode Guest Post

What are you doing this weekend? Me? I’ll be toasting and celebrating all the nurturing, compassionate and wonderfully witty women I know who make a difference in the lives of others — friends, family and strangers alike. And a special shout out to Lisa Belkin at The New York Times for including a guest post that offers a different take on Mother’s Day. You can share your comments here or on the Silent Sorority Facebook page.

Redefining Yourself (and Friendships)

Redefining Yourself (and Friendships)

Our latest guest post comes from Barbie. Longtime readers will remember her as a central player in a previous post from Coming2Terms. Her sister-in-law wrote about how she and her husband were trying to help those in Barbie’s life comprehend the long-standing difficulties associated with infertility. Here’s more from Barbie herself as she takes steps to redefine herself and her friendships. The quote she includes on her Facebook page comes from Joseph Campbell: “We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life…