4 thoughts on “Silent Sorority: The Memoir

  1. certainlydifferent

    […] that its just one more that is not me.  On the bright side, I got 2 books from the Librarary.  Silent Sorority and Eggs .  These books came to my attention last year as I started searching out blogs about my […]

  2. I just spent the weekend reading this book and I loved it. One of the things that had me laugh out loud (I definitely thought I had the monopoly on this one) was the use of birth control pills after failed fertility treatments to get rid of her periods. It sounds like a crazy thing for an infertile woman to do, but it’s one of the best gifts I ever gave myself, after five years i.e. 60 monthly reminders of my infertility – I’d had enough. Of course I have a sound medical reason to take them (endometriosis) and that’s what I tell anyone who finds out that I do. But the truth was right there in Pamela’s book!

  3. Sue Boniwell

    I am childless through illness and hysterectomy at the age of 30 and a couple of months before marriage. I was offered a chance of surgery to remove some endo damage and then IVF. We declined as the stress was too much and the chance or it working, very small. I didn’t want to risk my health or a potential child by invasive and then, new treatment. My consultant approved and afterward told us that I would have had to have a hysterectomy as the endo was so bad, we don’t regret that decision although I do sometimes feel sad. Does that make me selfish? I don’t think so. We have a good marriage and I have been free to look after elderly or ill family.

  4. Sandra

    I am a Mom-by-adoption. I am eternally grateful for that journey; my ultimate goal of being a Mom, was fulfilled by two beautiful gifts of life -pre-schoolers when they came “home forever”- with huge losses of their own. We are filling the holes in each other’s hearts.

    I will always be a part of your silent sorority because although my grief has found its place in my life, it will remain with me until my dying day. I’ll never forget crying out, “How could God do this, first I didn’t have a Daddy (he died when I was 7) and now I can’t have a Baby??” The loss of the natural course of things as a woman… getting pregnant, being pregnant, giving birth, breast feeding, holding a newborn, sharing all of that with my husband – was at the time excruciating for me. I had so much hope when starting infertility treatments – all we ever heard about was the success stories. I kept joining support groups, but quickly found out that really, they were groups to support you until you were successful. The quiet, crying, sad ones, like me, quietly faded away.

    And so, I am glad to know that you all are here. We have survived. We are able to live with the recurring grief as we pass though different stages of life and face that primary loss over and over again. And so, most appropriately we remain silent. But we can know that we are never alone.

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