Time Warp Tuesday: Decisions

Time Warp Tuesday: Decisions

Most weeks come and go without much fanfare. They’re filled with work, exercise, meals, appointments, chores, gardening, a weekend hike, coffee with a friend, a movie, or cleaning out that one drawer that always seems to hold everything because you once wanted to get something off the counter. And then there are weeks like this. The week that you turn 50. The week that marks the five-year anniversary of your infertility disclosure in The New York Times. The week film-makers show up in your living room to tape a segment for a documentary…

Ending Fertility Treatment Equated with Madness?

Ending Fertility Treatment Equated with Madness?

Halloween may be over, but the chance to really scare the living daylights out of someone remains real 365 days a year. How you ask? Declare that you’re stepping away from the path to motherhood — and to really induce shrieks wave around a copy of Silent Sorority. That will seal the deal. Horrors! Of course, the scariness quotient depends on your vantage point. This morning over coffee I read a comment in response to last week’s open salon between a mom-to-be using donor eggs (Keiko) and moi, a woman…

To Mom or Not to Mom

To Mom or Not to Mom

Welcome to an open salon hosted by yours truly and Keiko of The Infertility Voice. We created this dialogue to discuss both sides of the motherhood debate from our unique perspectives in a responsorial fashion. Over the next five days and culminating in an open Twitter discussion #ALIMomSalon this Friday, 10/26 at 12:30pm EDT, we seek to parse out the concerns and vulnerabilities of transition within the ALI (adoption/loss/infertility) community without tripping over political correctness and delicate sensibilities. We hope you’ll join us every day this week and will be inspired to…

Will It Be Fate or Destiny?

Will It Be Fate or Destiny?

The steady falling autumn rain this past Saturday did not dampen my spirits one iota. One fleece, one windbreaker and a cheap hooded plastic poncho combined to keep me warm and dry. Amid the throngs, the thousands of students and alumni alike making their way into Ann Arbor’s “Big House” for Homecoming, I was transported decades back to when I was a senior on campus. It was a time of promise. A period of unknowns — intoxicating, energizing and more than a little terrifying with endless possibilities. As I walked into the noisy Michigan Stadium with 110,000…

You’re the Star of Your Own Life

You’re the Star of Your Own Life

What do you do with years of expectation about roles and identity? How do you turn off the tape in your head about what was supposed to be the rest of your life? Where do you find a new sense of purpose and meaning? Those are some of the big, huge, enormous questions that have been accumulating in my in-box the past few weeks. Pour a drink. Pass the Magic 8 Ball. In fact, I think a good-old fashioned sleepover might be needed. Join me as I mull over the…

First Steps

First Steps

An invitation to a neighbor’s barbecue on an early spring day in northern California might seem innocuous enough. It would be for most, but agreeing to attend the afternoon affair set in motion a challenge for me that was the emotional equivalent of climbing Mount Everest. That’s because the barbecue for an assortment of family and friends outside the neighborhood was a sideshow to the main act: a birthday party for a one-year-old. I had long ago sworn off social engagements where parents and their babies were the protagonists.  The…